My Financial Epiphany
Photo by Brad Wolf of Frontline
Gather Little By Little has invited readers to blog about their epiphany in regards to their debt and finances. I’m finally getting around to it…
Dear Reader,
Do you have the privilege of being smacked in the face by reality on a daily basis? If not, you don’t know what you are missing. It would be nice to stay on top of things and make the right decisions all the time. But we make mistakes, and more times than not it takes a major situation to create real change. In regards to your financial situation, Dave Ramsey says that point is when you scream “I’ve had it!” That’s when you know you’re ready to change and the changes will stick. For my “aha” moment, I will take you back to November 23rd 2007…
Voices. What are they talking about? Is this a dream? What in the world are they talking about? Oh, it’s the alarm. 3:30 a.m.? Why? Oh yea, Apple is having a sale today. Apple never has a sale. This must be something good. It might just mean I can justify buying the MacBook Pro I have coveted for the past two years. I put it off this long, because of the Leopard release date. This just might be my chance.
In October of 2007, I took over the family budgeting, or “transaction recording.” My wife had offered to take over that responsibility a few years ago to help out as were trying to start a business. I grudgingly handed it over. Foolishly, I mentally handed over all financial responsibility as well. My wife did as good a job as she could without support from me. For the next three years we scraped along, financially and relationally. And yes, there were sparks (not the good kind). I sat down one day in October to enter some receipts that had been sitting around. When I looked a little closer at the records, I didn’t like what I saw. I will keep the story short simply by saying, my wife has a lot of strengths, but attention to detail is not one of them. So in my obsession, I took over the accounting. I spent hours over the next two months updating, tweaking, reentering, searching, re-reentering. Finally by late November I was satisfied that the records were up to date and correct. I could see our financial situation. It was not the prettiest site, but it did not register-yet.
Christina knows how much I want this MacBook Pro. I even felt I got the ‘ok’ from her to get one. Let’s see how good of a sale we’re talking about. Hmmm…Hmmm…Grrrrrr. It’s not on sale at all! What is up with that? The MacBook is on sale, but not by much. Well, let’s walk through a purchase. Ok, is it worth it? Mmmm, no it just doesn’t compare to the Pro. I should just get the Pro. I would be happier with that. Everyone will be so impressed. I’ll be able to do so many cool things. Let’s see, that’s going to be around $3000. I’ve got room on the credit card. But wow, that will put us up to $19,000. That’s getting close to the max.
And so I wrestled with my thoughts for the next three hours.
Buy it. Don’t buy it. Buy it. Don’t buy it. Buy it. Don’t buy it. Take some time off work and go to the store, maybe I can talk to them about a discount…yeah.
No! Wait, what the heck am I doing?! This is silly…no, it’s beyond silly! I’m about to put myself thousands of dollars more in debt for this? That will take years to pay off! What about emergencies? What about the future of my family? We have no house, and we couldn’t afford one any time soon. We have no savings. What about eating. What about vacations? Will I always be dependent on my in-laws? What about the kids’ school and college…and the girls’ weddings?! Am I willing to lay it all on the line for this?
‘No we can’t pay for your wedding, but look daddy has this ugly, out-of-date, slow piece of junk that we could have put all the lovely wedding pictures on…if he wasn’t such a selfish schmuck.’
THAT’S IT!! I’VE HAD IT!!!
When the smoke cleared and the tears dried, I left for work with a sense of peace. That weekend I created our first real budget. That December, we stuck to it…and what do you know? We survived. It was hard, especially because of Christmas and having to say no to buying a lot of things we were used to purchasing. We didn’t have a Christmas tree. I could sense some disappointment, and it hurt. But something was happening…a desire was growing, a goal was forming, a dream was coming in sight. And no, a MacBook Pro was not part of it.
At the beginning of January, I declared my war on debt with my campaign of “Own your stuff.” It has not all been easy, but is has not been difficult either. We’ve had to sacrifice some things, but having a purpose has made it easier. My wife and children have been champs – recovering from the quick and intense start, getting creative with our resources, and being supportive in every way possible. Even just two months into it, some major changes have happened and the plan has evolved. About mid January, I was reminded of a guy named Dave Ramsey. I started listening to him and reading the Total Money Makeover. I then changed the plan from paying off debt in two years with a vacation stuck in the middle, to paying off debt in one year and rewarding ourselves with the vacation next year. Now, as of December 2007, we have decreased our debt by $9000, and increased our future by an incalculable amount. All of this was happening on the same income that we previously had been unable to work with.
Soli Deo Gloria!
If you haven’t already, share your epiphany!
“Yesterday I was a dog. Today I’m a dog. Tomorrow I’ll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There’s so little hope for advancement.” -(Snoopy) Charles M. Schulz
Have you ever had that nagging feeling that there was something more to do with your life? I don’t remember exactly when it started for me...
you’re such a sexy stud :)
love you!
I don’t know if you’re a sexy stud or not but, the joy of getting out of debt followed by the ability to be able to purchase what you want, and can afford it, is wonderful.
Congratulations on the moment of clarity. Debt is like many other hurdles we have to overcome, you have to be mentally down and out before you can rise to a new beginning.
BTW, can you tell I typed this on a Macbook Pro? I did, but it still looks just the same as any other computer.
Well, sorry but my comment won’t be near as good as the first one ;-) That’s probably a good thing..hehe.
Seriously, great story and good for you for not buying it. Wish I would have caught myself that early. Thanks for sharing. Gave you a stumble and a link from my original article!
@ Christina – Thanks, Babe! Love you!
@ Get Out of Debt Squirrel – such elegance! such uniqueness and high quality…so…no, no i could not tell that was from a macbook pro.
we’re definitely looking forward to be able to make cash purchases. i always heard it looks, tastes, works, etc… better when you OWN it!
as for the sexy stud part…we’ll have to take my wife’s word for it. :P
@ glglguy – thanks for the encouragement! love your posts, and it was great to read everybody else’s epiphany. and thank you for stumble
Great reminder how “things” can become our idols if we’re not careful. We will never have everything we want in this life but God has promised to give us what we (truly) need. As you get older, you realize that the things you dreamed about when you were younger don’t ever bring the pleasure that you thought they would. A peaceful mind and heart is so much more valuable. Going to sleep at night not wondering how you’ll pay the next bill is a wonderful thing. But more importantly, getting to the point where you can bless others is heavenly ;) I hope to be there soon. I, for one, am very proud of you guys and pray that you’ll see this goal to the very end and that God will bless you along the way, not just with stuff, but with GREAT lessons learned that will be with you a lifetime.
@ kbs – yes, the desire for one certainly became an idol! we will keep working hard towards the goal. i’m sure the hard part is down the road (after the debt is taken care of). thank you for the prayer.